Hole made me do it.

Earlier this week, I was issued a speeding ticket. I’m normally a somewhat law-abiding citizen, but since the ticket was issued in a school zone, I get to grace a judge with my presence next month. I’m not trying to get out of this. I broke the law. I did exactly what they said I did. I drove 30 mph. In a school zone containing no children. Because it’s impossible to drive 20 mph, school zone or not. I’ve tried it every day since, and it requires that I pay so much attention to what I’m doing that I think it’s actually more dangerous than letting me drive 30, which seems to be as slow as I can make myself drive without constantly watching my spedometer and wondering how a difference of 10 mph can be such a big deal.

In my defense, I wasn’t aiming my car at anyone, talking on my cell phone, sending a text message, planning my morning, or whipping around the other cars. I wasn’t even smoking, because I quit doing that three months ago.

I was, however, listening to Hole. And it is my belief that it was the combination of driving a mustang while listening to “Live Through This” that seems to have rendered me unable to obey school zone speed limits, which I freely admit are there for a reason. Hole made me do it. Hole and those awful bastards at Ford. And you know, I think that if we can blame random school shootings on Marilyn Manson, then my belief is completely rational.